Is it a Guy? Is it a Dad? No it’s Super Dad!!
How do we as Dads hold the duel role of both being a normal mortal man and, in the eyes of our kids, some kind of super hero?
The magic is sometimes in the slight of hand, “Dad, can I have an ice cream?” “Sure, kid, what flavour?” and out of the super hero’s utility belt comes the most awesome weapon against boredom and hunger… the cashflow card and in the eyes of the child with just one swipe, what was once just a dream, a thought, a desire becomes reality, “Wow thanks Dad, you’re amazing!!”
The magic is sometimes in the super-human physical abilities: Dads are able to lift the bike into the back of the car; to get the books off the top shelf without even using a chair and build the book shelf in the first place; fix stuff that is broken; but the best of all is that quintessential skill of strength and speed, that of flinging the kids into the air to make them fly!!
But what about when Superman is on hold because Clarke Kent is having a bad day and the kryptonite of feeling grumpy tired and stressed kicks in? How do we stay cool when the emotions are running hot?
Stop.
Use the superhero ‘time freeze’ mechanism, and just stop doing whatever it is that you are doing, freeze time, and take a few deep breaths. Let every breath you choose to take help you get a bigger perspective, like gaining height in your take off back to Super Dad. Talk yourself through stressful moments: “Hey, it is only spilt milk,” “The ‘whatever it is’ can wait; I am going to play with the kids for a while” or “It’s ok, this too will pass, I can do it!”
Putting aside all the super strengths and cashflow ‘manifestation of toys and lollies’ cards, I think the most awesome power we possess as Dads is the power to make our kids feel good about themselves. So when we are flying through life getting everything done that has to be done in any one week, make sure that at the top of the list is ‘Make my kids feel good about themselves’.
Let them know what it is about them you like; tell them they are awesome; thank them for their contributions; gift them your listening; let them feel your care for their upsets; tell them what you enjoy about their art; value their opinions … give them a whole hour where they are in charge and run with their ideas and the list goes on…Look at your kids, put yourself in their shoes and ask: “If I was them what would make me feel great about myself?”
And remember when your kryptonite of stress is biting and it is rubbing off on to your relationship with the kids, odds are on that you are not making them feel good about themselves, so stop, breath, regain your height, regain your super Dad status, then re-engage!
