Discussion Board:

Hi

My son has been at kindy since february of this year. We have been having problems with his social interactions with other children. He pushes, pulls hair, doesn't like to share and likes taking things from other children or destroying their paintings/sandcastles etc. I also notice that he doesn't engage in activities for long periods there but he does so at home. The kindy is a very full kindy with 15 children to a teacher with 45 children at the kindy often there is no parent help. I have done some once a term. There is one teachers aide as well. The teachers don't have the time to watch his every move and we and the kindy teachers are at a loss to know what to do, so they have called in group special education and they cannot tell us when he will be seen by them.

At home, since we discussed these things with the teachers we have been more consistent with timeout and sticker charting and praise. He has a 1 year old sister. Generally they play nicely together. He often doesn't like to share with her though and does take her toys but has improved since we have improved our systems. I have been reading Diane's books and have been looking at the personality type and I think he is Choleric/ Melancholic. Based on this I think he may need to have more attention from teachers so I think we may look at porse childcare or a private kindy.
Could you please tell me what you think? It drives me to tears some days when I hear what he has been doing. I don't want him to be a bully. I was bullied when I was a young girl so I know what its like. I love my son dearly but we just need some help with him!

Parenting takes us to the best and the worst places.

Watching our dearly loved wee ones behave badley is just awful . We feel such failures at these times / embaressed , alone and isolated with our "problem"

The flip side is you will never forget this and will be a wonderful support for others whom you will meet over the years struggling with their children / teens. You'll be the last person to pass judgement or look down your nose at them!!

You have already made some really sound choices. Working as a team with the kindy teachers is a great idea.
The Early Intervention Team will provide a wealth of support - ring them yourself and ask to speak to the Manager. Explain how desparate you are and ask if they can help. They may be able to apply for interim funding until a member of their team is available. This funding could be used for a teacher aid who supports your son's behaviour at kindy.
At the very least I would hope you could get an estimated time that they can start working with you and your son.

Another approach could be to ask a behaviour specialist to meet with you and the kindy staff to put a plan in place. Why not email the wonderful Diane Levy for her advice on this? What an amazing resource she is and you can email her through the kiwi families si
te.
Diane is really experienced in dealing with our little ones and the dynamics of family life. She is so practical and of course able to view your situation from an outsiders viewpoint. The changes she may recommend may not be as big as the ones you are considering but they may make a big change to your son's behaviour and how you are feeling right now.

Good on you for actively seeking the help you need. What a fabulous mum , who loves her own boy unconditionally but cares also about the impact of his behaviour on others.

Check out our interview with super - kindy - teacher Christine Murray from Takapuna Kindy on www.springboardnz.com .

Hang in there - you're doing so many things right!

oops - sorry about all those spelling mistakes!! I will type my answers in future using 'word' with my best friend the spellcheck!!

Julie

Thanks for your response! I just wondered which email address on the kiwi families website do I contact Diane Levy through? Is it through the "contact us" page?

Hi there. Just click on Diane's column. When you are in Diane's page there is a red envelope on the top right hand corner with 'email' written under it. If you click on that you can e mail Diane directly.
I hope you hear from her soon.

Julie

Sorry Julie,
For the life of me I still can't find the email contact!
Maybe you could forward it on for me if this is OK with you?

Hmmm. I have gone in again and this time have been more specific. I hope this helps

1.Click on Celebrity Columns.
2.Click on Diane's picture.
3.On the right hand top corner a black envelope appears.
4.It has email written in blue to the right of the envelope.
5. Good Luck

Julie

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