Discussion Board: General Issues

Hi everyone,
I need some advice big time.
My husband and I have been married for 13years now
and we have had a few problems and have managed to work them out BUT the main thing that pops up constantly is the kids. We have a son who is now 9 together and I have a 16 and 14 year old girls from a previous relationship. He was really great with them when the girls were little but for the last 5 years he has become nasty to them. He picks on them for no reason and he is extremely strict. I am all for kids making mistakes and learning from them and to be there for them - he thinks kids should speak when spoken to and make no mistakes. We always fight about the kids..... He will embarress the girls in front on friends and yell at them when they are on the phone..... When I step in he yells at me for sticking up for them then calls us names and gets nasty to me.
I have suggested parenting classes and counselling buthe is not really keen for both as he thinks his way is the right way end of story. The girls are too scared to do anything or have a different opinion to hisfor fear of being in trouble or being grounded again. He does not have these issues with our boy but has no time for him.
Sorry for the long moan but i have no one to turn to for help or advice.
Many thanks
Karen

hi there if things are still the same i would really urge you to talk with the 'it's not ok' people (0800 456 450) . from your description "his way is the right way" and "shouting, bullying, name calling, getting nasty" it amounts to domestic violence (and if it is domestic violence, you allowing your children to witness it, makes you in the wrong too IF you allow it to continue) so it would not be unreasonable of you to contact your local Woman's Refuge and get details of their programmes which you could go to to get support and information - these are free and come without strings.
importantly it's not a great role model situation for your girls when they are starting to form more serious relationships with the opposite sex.

everyone has the right to be treated with respect and everyone is responsible for their own actions, he is the one deciding the shout, call names - no-one else, no one is making him, it is his decision to react like this.

I really urge you to contact one or both of the organisations as they will be able to better advise you on the ins and outs so you can then make a good decision for you and your children.

good luck,

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