Discussion Board: Primary Schoolers

Hi, my son Kris appears to have a anger management problem. He will be 10 in March and seems to be unable to control his temper in the class room. At his previous school he got angry at other kids for "annoying him" but can never remember what was said or even done. At the end of the last term he was suspended from school for "hitting" his teacher and his principal. We have since then decided to move to another town and he has started the new school and is living with my mom until we sell the house and move. His new teacher is aware of his history and is willing to give him the benefit of doubt. On Friday he was "annoyed" by a kid in class and the result of that was that he smacked the kid with a bin and later(?) hit the same kid with a chair. I don't like the way this sounds but if I was the parent of the other child this is how it would sound and how I would feel. Kris has [b]never ever [/b]done any of this sort of thing at home (single child) or to any of his cousins or friends. He is not a sulking, moody, angry, tempramental kid that has tantrums. His only glitch is at school. The RTBL and the Pshycologist we saw agreed that at the previous school Kris was being bullied and he was reacting to that. We were hoping with talking, and taking him away from the old school, it may be better but it appears not to be. Kris is not exposed to that sort of behaviour at home or even on TV. Can anyone suggest help or advice. I know controlling your temper is a long slow process but I need to help my son before he ends up in a juvie detention centre or at a school for kids with behaviour problems. Thank you Liza

Hi, we had a similar thing with our boy, but not quite to that extreem. In the end, the teacher gave him his own desk, still in teh class room, but away from everyone else, somewhere he could go when he felt anoyed, or distracted and do his work. My oldest son is only 8, this year he is much better, but he had about 6 months of really acting out in class. I think alot of it was an attention thing, he wanted to be the center of attention and to be heard and the other kids talking and getting help anoyed him. Also, my son was bullied and picked on at school too. This contributed to it as some of the bullies were in his class. But having the seperate desk he could use when he chose to helped to give him a little responsibility. I dont mean to pry, but does he get everything he wants at home? I know my oldest did tend to before his little brother was born. I did the whole over compensation thing for him being an only child and me being a single patrent. My partner and I got very strick with my oldest when he is at home, and now his school time is alot better, no more fights. Oh, the other thing we did too was to get him onto a top of the line nutritional suppliment. It ment that he slept better, and had everyhting he needed. Also, if your boy is growing very fast, that could be linked, becasue if children are not getting enough magnesium in their food, their body leaches it from their muscles to help absorb calcium into their bones, so they are left with too little in their muscles to relax properly. Which leads to bursts of anger, unsocial behaviour, restless sleep, tired, doing poorly at school. So you could look into a top of the line chewable calcium magnesium suppliment. My oldest boy was also not drinking enough water at school. He was getting very dehydrated and would then fly into a massive rage when he was even mildly anoyed by someone or something. He would not remember anything of what was said or done during these. He is aware of this now, and even in the winter drinks alot of water. Have you taken your boy to see a childrens doctor? Maybe they could do some tests and see if there is anything like a lack of something or something else going on. My son was diagnosed with absence eplipsy, but has only had a few sesiures. Aparently about 60% of kids have this in their primary school years and don't even know! But most grow out of it. I hope this has been of some help. Beleive me, you are most definatly not alone!! There are alot of sweet little children out there that have this problem. It takes alot fo time, support and understanding, but it is possible to get over/through it. Good luck and let us know how everything is going.

Hi, Rocketpower and I could kiss you. Thank you. Your stories sound very familiar and I would like to think that he does not get everything he wants, but I do notice when the cousins come to visit and if they get to decide the game to play or video to watch, Kris, says that I always take their side. Also we have asked for a referal to a pediatrian and will definately make use of your magnesium theory and also of the water!!!! Kris would rather not drink water if he does not have to, but that would make sense. At the moment we got Kris on Omega 3 Tablets to held with his concentration. Does anyone have a list of food stuffs and or ingediants (sorry for spelling) to avoid? Thank you for taking the time to reply. We've just had another incident at school and one good thing that came out of this was that we know he is in good hands with the school, who it appears is bending over backwards for him.

HI! I am pleased to hear that things are looking up abit! I do hope that everyhting goes well for you. I avoid junk food with my boy. I find that too many preservatives and he gets all silly. I try to give him food as close to its natural state as possible. Omega 3 oils are great. Wonderful brain food, also marvelous for the heart and lungs. I have both my boys on Usana health sciences products. Their health adn behaviour and everything has changed. I recently started my oldest boy on the chewable calcium magnesium as well as the multi vitamin and mineral he is already on. Hes sleeping very soundly now and is starting to get taller.. damn these growth spurts, soon hes going to leave me behind!!! If you want to check out my webpage, its www.rocketpower.usana.com There is a whole lot of information on there about different vitamins and minerals and how they work with your body. I am also on the adult products. And I would not have come to this site if I hadn't been! I was not supposed to be able to have any more children due to high blood pressure and diabetes. well the products slowly lowered my blood pressure and I am off statins for it! And when my blood pressure dropped dangerously low, thats when I got pregnant!!! Blood pressure is still fine, and diabetes going ok. Let me know how things are going. All the best!!

Hi all, My son has just turned 12 and has the same behaviour problems at school.we left his primary school a 3rd of the way through due to bullying and kids making up outlandish stories our son had supposedly done, Like one girl said he cut her throat.. hello..... the next school we found a fantastic teacher and dep principal who helped him alot but the hitting swearing and running off never really stopped completely. now at intermediate the hitting swearing and runnning off still happens with the kids, all his teachers speak highly of him evan saying he helps ofher kids in the class. its just at play and lunch that all this happens. he says the kids annoy him and tease him calling him names. The school doesnt think so the RTLB saying hes premeditaing his movesm deliberatley pinching and lying he never did it. we are close to suspension now, but have been advised by the school to get a physoligical assesment done before they will go ahead with the suspension. My fear is they read the school file and it looks bad, they dont know him at home. We have to get counselling for him to. Where do we go to find a good counsellor, were in Rotorua. Im so worried we may have to change to another school and go through all this again. its so heart breaking for parents and so hard for kids like my son. My son doesnt have any friends either, a big factor i think.maybe we should all meet up our sons might get on well.. In the mean time Ill keep surfing the web for info. I found a great site.www.dbsTrust.org. its really interesting about what they say about behoviour. Also try www.joshuawellness.com.au click on Testimonials and read about a boy named Trae. Im taking my son to our local chiropractor. anything is worth a go. good luck. our boys need it.

Just a question is he an only child? We find this problem at work its an antisocial behaviour and maybe some sort of counselling that ur school can recommend might help :) Also take him to ur doctor and get him checked out for ADHD etc sometimes bad behaviour can be something that cant be completely corrected if it is something the child cant help.

being an only child can make a difference, but not all the time. We have 2 boys and baby due in 5 to 7 weeks.

But I agree, go to the doctor and don't take no for an answer. The things that kids get labeled with these days stick for a lifetime.

Sometimes a change of schools is all thats necessary Some freinds did that with their boy and the change is amazing.

With our boy, I changed things in his environment and made sure his vitamin and mineral levels are correct and was such a pest at the school that they had to do something. Finally there has been a change of principal and things are amazingly different! They finally see that our boy is just a wonderfuly intelligant little man. Still a 9yo boy, that does some really stupid things, but they now understand him alot better adn things are wonderful.

Also, if there is a suspected health issue, make sure that the school is well aware of it.

good luck!!!

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