Discussion Board: Primary Schoolers

Hi, our 8 year old son constantly takes things from around the house and hides them in his room or takes them to school and gives them away. When we ask him about it he lies even when caught red handed. Does anyone have any ideas on how to combat this behaviour. We are told it's a phase and he'll grow out of it but a lot of our stuff is going missing and we are at a loss as to what kind of punishment would be most effective in teaching him that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable. Talking doesn't seem to be working.

As an ex- teacher I have some experience of dealing with this sort of behaviour. Stealing & Lying are often a symptom of something else. The question I would always ask is "Is my child a victim of bullying?" Ask the class teacher to keep a look out - particulary before school and during playtimes. Who is he associating with?
The other common cause is a low self esteem and/or difficulty making friends. The items he gives away are an attempt to "buy" friendship. Again I would look to the school to help you get to the bottom of the problem.
Good luck.

I have a 10 yr old stepson who went through a phase of stealing last year which was put down to parental marriage breakup and not spending enough time with his dad. We got through that fine with some psychotherapy but unfortunately it has happened again. He only steals from people he knows, and only electrical gadgets i.e. palmmate, cell phones.
He tells us he does it because he 'likes it and wants to play with it'. He doesn't appear understand consequences and punishments yet he says he knows what is right and wrong.
I've made contact with a stepparent support group and am getting some counselling for me in dealing with these situations - but would appreciate any ideas/comments.
I'm really at a loss for what to do (as is his Dad) - can anyone help??

My 9yo lies abit. Blames his 4yo brother for everything. Then lies about fighting with him... like this morning when they were fighting while I was making the babys bottle. 4yo comes running into the kitchen screaming and clutching his face. 9yo had thrown the photo glue container at him and it caught him on the edge of his eye socket and cut ip open. Blood going everywhere etc... asked 9yo what happened and get told "I dont know" when I pushed the issue he owned up to throwing it. 4yo is going to have a wicked black eye..

9yo is lucky it wasnt half an inch higher or it would have been a mad dash to the hospital to get the container removed from 4yo eye....

My Mum said that all kids seem to go through a lyeing stage. Its ment to be normal, very anoying, but completely normal

My 12 year old son has lied for a few years now but has just been caught by us for stealing (and lying). We have given him consequences for his lying before, such a losing privaleges, and have praised his behaviour when he has owned up to something. This recent incident has devestated me and his step-mum. Is there any advice on appropriate consequences or how to get to the bottom of what is going on with him? He loves sport and this is a possible consequence but I then feel it teaches other bad behaviours of "it is OK to let your team-mates down"
DHH

We took our 9yo to the police station to see where the bad people go. He had been bullying his 4yo brother and lieing about it.

The cop told him that all criminals start out with little things like telling lies, and that the police station and jail is where they end up.

9yo had been lots better since!!!

Also, even fit kids dont like doing army crawling around the lawn.. it wears them down rather quickly, helps keep their fitness up too!!!

Wow! You took your kid to a see a cop? How cool is that. Haha. I hope the cop was nice enough though and not too scary. As for me, I usually just remind my kid that kids who lie will be punished by God because he sees everything and knows everything. :P .. Pretty old school I know, but I'm reading books now to get more ideas. Currently, I'm reading this one http://growingupchildren.com. I hope it's good. :) Seems ok so far.

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