Discussion Board: Single Parents

Hi everyone...I am hoping you can help me....I am struggling with finding the right advice on the net....

My ex & I separated 12 months ago...and as I work odd hours, and my ex was the main earner it was decided our son would live with Mum & be with me for 2 nights a week...this worked well, I pay my child support on time as set by the IRD and we always met at at a half way point for Sunday collection with me dropping him at daycare, and now school, after the weekend. I received an email from her demanding I pay 50% of his school & medical costs....which I just cannot afford as she earns double what I do and has a new husband earning the same so essentially 4 times what I do, and is now demanding I go to her gate to pick him up as its allegedly not her responsibility to transport him. Thats a 110km found trip for me...on top of child support....and she wanted FIVE full sets of uniform....so you can see her expaectations seem to be extremely high.

I live apart from my son because I thought it was for the best, she works office hours, I dont, I was a stay at home dad, working crap hours to help with costs so am years behind on the career ladder...my lawyer told me during the relationship property bit to sort this...but we were getting on so well....so I didnt listen...more fool me....I have even agreed not to touch her pension for various reasons......but still she trys to bleed me dry...first financially...and now emotionally.....it sucks.....but my questions are

LEGALLY....outside my child support what should I pay???

LEGALLY are we not both responsible for his transportation between houses???


Help!!!

It sounds like a sad situation I can relate

Did she move 55km away from you and then expect you to transport? What a cow! Lets face it whoever moved so far away should be responsible for transport.

I suppose morally you should pay your share of what it costs to bring up your child. Sadly her partners income doesnt really come into it.

Do you pay an amount through child support that would cover your share of your childs cost? Lets face it IRD comes up with a number that bears no relationship with cost of keeping a child.

Legal responsibility and moral responsiblity are poles apart. What has your lawyer said. It cost a mate of mine $12000 to get an agreement through family court and the costs are still ongoing.
If I were you, I would try to keep it out of court as at the end of the day who ever has the deepest pockets wins.

Good luck.

Audifan

Hmm..well actually I moved that far away for many reasons....but someone else has posted on here that transport costs are the responsibility of both parents.....and your right...the IRD comes up with a figure based on income...not the cost of bringing up a child...totally different things....if my payments aren't enough she needs to apply for a WINZ top up...and my questions are purely legal...morally I wont be bullied or lied to about what I am supposed tp pay/do....my son is perfectly well provided for between us.....

Sorry, wasn't meant to inflame, was just trying to help.

I hope it goes OK for you.

Audifan

all opinions count, and nothing is as clear as it looks...thanks for your posts....

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