Discussion Board: Toddlers and Pre-schoolers

does anyone feel that they have to really incourage their partners to do things with the child/ren? our daughter is 21mths and i know her dad loves her and adores her more then anything and i know he works hard but i feel like im nagging all the time for him to do something with her? she will be standing there yelling.."Dad, Book" right in front of him and most of the time he doesnt relise cause hes watching tv! i never had my dad around growing up and its SOOO important to me our daughter gets all that dad time but i hate naggin! im going away for almost 48hrs this week for the first time since she was born so dad is now IT i know he will be fine but i fell as thought i should be writting out a timetable and things to do list? i know he has to find his own way of parenting but its hard to watch if you know what i mean??

Im so with u on this! Luckily my oldest now knows how to get his attention quite effectivly, which has worked to my advantage too now especially when it comes to dishes and all lol

I'm a bloke who absolutely can't get enough of my wee son age 14 months. I love him to bits and do as much as possibly with him. I have been stay home dad for the last 10 months and even though it is tough at times, I believe it to be the most rewarding time of my life and would not swap the experience for anything. I think you also have to have balance in life. You need to have time out for you and I suppose trying to watch TV is one of those, but as you know it is very difficult to relax with a toddler. Maybe you/he should pick another activity if you/he wants time out and then the rest of the time to be dedicated to the child? Remember you/he needs time for you as well so “nagging” won’t work. Work something out that works for you both. Good luck eh.

im not even putting my partner in that box as i know he does so much more then some dads out there, i just struggle with doing everything sometimes, and you would tink agfter all these yrs i have knowen males i would have stopped to think that they are not wired like females haha but i still crave for him to listen to me i mean actually listen to me, and just let me feel appriciated and loved, like the other day he planned on going out on the motorbikes and that was all good but that morn my mum rung and i had t rush over there as she was beng rushed to hospital, when i asked him to stay home and look after our daugter so i could go help mumhe packed a crap and said something pretty hurtful, thinking that my mum was over reacting and it had ruined his day, he then rung me lter at the hosp to see how long i was guna be!!! when i came home after being in the emergancy rooms for 6hrs i had a huge cry and he didnt really askhow i was or give me a hug or anything as soon as i walked in the door he sat down with his mates and watched tv!!!!grrr sorry prob shouldnt complain so public, but i needed to vent!

they really can be, and it is simply becasue they are wired differently than females. They mean well. But sometimes if their little applecart is upset then the world must be ending.. both my boys are like that already and they are not even 10 yet!

My partner is wonderful, very supportive. He thinks alot differently to pretty much all men I hav emet, but then he had to grow up very fast, as he had his younger sisters to basically raise since he was 12. So he has had to look at the world with "female coloured glasses" at times!!!

Venting is good.. as the old saying goes, a problem shared is a problem halved.

:-)

yeah i guess ts helpful to vent but i always worry it will bite me in the arse lol dr phil once said oyu should never look outside your marriage to fix whats in it lol good old dr phil, but point makes sence lol yeah males are so different i can understand why some females are attracted to other females hehe anywhooohes going through alot lately having changed jobs and thinking of changing back cause he doent like his new one and all, but that means he'll be back to going away aot more but then he wonts to hve better money i spent ages trying to tell him tongiht that to aimee and i money isnot important we are happy to just spend time with him, but he thinks (im sure he thinks anyways) that if we have more money and more nice stuff we will be happier ! i love him to bits so ill support his decision no matter what i just hope he makes it for the right decisions.

Hi!

It was very hard for my partner to see it. It wasn't till he got sick and couldn't work that he really saw it. He knew it, but he didn't KNOW it if you know what I mean.
When he was younger they had no money, everything they had they built by hand, house included, fence posts adn battens were trees adn branches, they lived in tents for 5 years after his parents broke up. They had no paower etc, so his Dad and him build a generator by hand so they could cook and have light.
But when he got a job, he found he had money to do things, adn making money was easy. It was easier to make money and throw it at things to fix problems. It was nice to go home and switch on a light. He gave pretty much all his income to his Dad to help raise his younger sisters. And when his Dad was working, he was home with them.

My partner learnt to appreciate money casue it was so easy for him to earn. But looking back, if he had to do it again, he would probably do it a little different. Work a little less and have more fun with his family.

I wish you luck with your partners decision. Just remember that what ever decision he makes, hes making it cause he loves you guys.

I will first off have to admit I am a daddy's girl, played rugby, cricket, soccer you name it my son's father has his own thing going on with him too, mummy love is different from dady love, I let him find his own feet with the parenting thing and it took a little while ut he got there. . . eventually.

I agree. Mummy love and Daddy love are very different. Our boys love dad to bits, but if they need emotional support, be it cause they had a bad dream, or a fight or got hurt, they always look for me.

Plus I am a sap and always give cuddles and kisses!!!

mums and ads love totally diff and yes i also agree i have to let him find hi feet, but i have to question as to how far i let him find them??? its hard for me to stand back and see things that dont really need to happen or be said and just not say anything i try to say it helpful, i guess its an advantage to me having my preschool teaching experience but its also a disadvantage for my partner i know he feels like im picking at him and that but for example i dont hink aimee needs to be yelled at and told shes really naughty when she sjust exploring and its not worth upsettingnher over, save the disapline and "telling offs" for when there really nesacerry? hard for me to explain i guess,

Post a message in this thread