Discussion Board: Toddlers and Pre-schoolers

Well where do i start. I am the mother of a 2.5year young girl, who wants to wear knickers, she does really well and she has 1 or less ' accident' a day. Although, she won't poo on the potty or toilet, she will tell me it's coming so we head for the bathroom.....again and again and again. It seems to go away as soon as she gets there, and it can go away for a couple of days!! Has any of you experienced this, and do you have any toileting tips for me and my girl??

Krikitt, hope you have had more success lately. Sorry, I can't offer much help - although I believe that poo's is always a difficult one to crack - it is definately something my daughter won't do on the toilet. I am hoping you (or anyone else) can help me with my toiletting problems. I too have a 2.5 year old girl and have been trying the toilet training for the last 5 weeks and we are getting no-where fast! She knows when she is going to go, but does nothing about it. If we put her on the toilet she will usually oblige with a wee, but she won't take herself if she needs to go (although she did do this for about two days when it was all new). What is really annoying us (and we are getting really annoyed) is that after she has been put to bed she will take her nappy off and pee (or even poo) on the floor - she clearly knows she wants to go so she takes her nappy off, but she makes no effort to either call us or to take herself to the toilet. It has actually become an attention issue I think - she must physically force something out as she manages to do up to 4 wees in about 2 hours when generally during the day she can last up to 3 hours between wees. We try and remain calm and barely even speak to her when we go in to clean up the mess, but it is getting really frustrating.... I am getting really desperate for some help - has anyone got anything they can help me out with!!!!

Hi, i can completely understand your frustration, bless em, cant they just do your head in!!! my 2.5 year old is doing well as far as wee goes on the loo but forget the other...no matter what incentives i offer, she insists on a nappy for a poo. as she does know when she's going to go i quickly pop a couple of folded handy-towels into a nap and voila, it can be used again. it seemed such a waste to chuck em out straight after pooing and i found i was getting really annoyed with her. i did crack the wee thing using the bribery and corruption method, a small reward like a peppermint after using the loo and washing hands successfully seemed to work. maybe your little one would respond to a reward system during the day??? a little treat might just tip the balance and if she realises theres nothing to be gained from doing it on the floor maybe it'll cease to be an attractive option?? who know, good luck!!

Hi Dallas, Thanks for your comments. A state of bliss and calm has returned to our household since we gave up with the toiletting and went back to the nappies!! I really didn't realise how stressed we were about the whole thing until we gave it away. We did try the bribery and corruption trick but didn't reallly find anything she was truely passionate about - tried the stickers (which she thought was fun for a while) and then moved onto the marshmellows (something she likes and is not so terribly bad that we would have been accused of causing childhood diabetes or obesity :-) ). We had these in full view of the toilet as incentive, but still no real success. I even resorted to showing her that I got a treat if i went to the toilet in the hope that she would demand one because I had one and I could use that to encourage her to go. But no, all she did was congratulate me for being so wonderful and helped me pick my marshmellow reward!! Anyway, thanks again for your suggestions - good luck with your efforts! I'll probably be back on this forum when we have another crack at it in a few month!!!

My son is 2 and a half and is toilet trained. I had a friend who used lollies to encourage, and I was absolutely against that, but then decided when he first started to use lollies as a treat for the first week, and he pretty much got it straight away. He was also waiting till his night nappy to do his poos and I got quite frustrated. So I started really encouraging him with praise and made a sticker chart up for his behaviour and also his toileting. He loves getting stickers so this has made him not mind going on the toilet. It may help you. :) Good Luck.

Hi all. I have been there with our daughter. She started doing wee's on the toilet prior to turning 2 but wouldn't do poo's on the toilet at all. We were over in the USA for 3 months when she was 2 1/2. I should mention she was wearing knickers during the day and started going through the night without any accidents. She would come and ask for a nappy when she needed to do poo's. Eventually we decided it was time to do it on the toilet and we turned down her requests for a nappy. Once we'd said it we had to follow through. She did cry and beg for a nappy and panicked when she thought she would have an accident without a nappy. It took a week. She barely ate because she hadn't done poo's for so many days she was too uncomfortable. In the end she had to go. I was in the toilet with her and coached her along. We promised her she could go to the toyshop and pick out anything she wanted as a reward (& hoped we wouldn't have to re-mortgage to afford it!) It was tough but she got there. It beat having her do poo's in her nappy, which she then removed, got in a real mess and wiped her hands off all around the bedroom walls. This happened regularly. I'm happy to report that our son toilet trained himself before 2 years and blissfully did wee's and poo's without any assistance, bribing or drama's. sorry for the long post but you will get through it. Once you say "no more nappies" be prepared to see it through.

Hi! I have 2 boys, they were not that hard to ge to go. My oldest has Irritable Bowel Syndrome, so can be constapated some times, but its being treated and hes been off all meds for about 12 months! My youngest is lactose intollerant, so doesnt always know when hes going to go if hes hogged out on cheese or other dairy products. But with both my boys, I just let it happen. They wanted to try, so I helped them. I didn't stress about it. If they did poos on the loo they got to flush it and wave "bye bye" and when they very first started I found that a lolly or calling Nana and telling her was quite a reward!! I dont think my Mum minded really!! My youngest is still in nappys at night, but they are dry most mornings, but is ok during the day in his boxers... no undies for him, all the big boys wear boxers!!!! Hes even good in the car on long trips. I hope you get some success. Just remember the less you stress and worry about it, the sooner and easier they will do it!!!

Well .. I haven't got there yet but Dr Phil reckons you should have a party when they poo on the potty. Balloons, clapping, dancing - the whole bit. Make it a real fun affair without the lollies and stuff so they don't begin an un healthy addiction. Anyway .. I'm going to give it a try. Will let you know the results in a years time (haha) Good Luck to all you other parents waiting for that elusive poo to fall where it should.

I have done things a little differently, Our little girl was 5 months when she started using the potty for poos and would highly recomend it to others, no dirty naps (we use cloth) to worry about. I am hoping in time she will also want to do wee (she does sometimes if she needs to go) on potty but will wait till next summer to really get her out of naps. She will be about 20 - 21 months. Thats as long as her brain is conected to the fuction but it has worked for poos so we think there wouldn't be too much trouble. So in the end I think if you start early before they for what ever reason they have that they don't want to poo on potty/toilet it mite save the trouble. Not much help to those having trouble now but if others read this it may help for the future.

Hi there, I am at my wits end and need some advice. We have recently moved and have also been to the UK for a month travelling around, so my 4 year old son has become unsettled and has gone back to soiling his pants. At home we have set up a sticker and prize system which was working - this morning he told me that he didn't want to go and I could have his sticker. At daycare he just goes in his pants, he doesnt care and doesnt worry about his sticker prizes. I know he is just getting back into a routine, but is there anything else I can do to get him to go? The teachers remind him so often but he says he doesnt want to go and then just poops his pants. Some kids obviously call him names as he poops and smells, but he doesn't care and joins in! He is fine at weeing and does that. Any advice for a desperate mum?

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