Discussion Board: Toddlers and Pre-schoolers

Please help. My daughter cannot seem to play by herself for any length of time. She is 2.5 yrs and continually wants either mum or dad to play with her. We are both loving parents and she gets alot of attention but since very early on we have both also been very 'big' on leaving her to amuse herself and for her to create her own play. We dont know why she doesnt. Other children her age seem to be able to play for longish periods by themselves. We will start her off on an activity but she will not continue playing unless we also play. She doesnt want to bounce on her trampoline unless someone else bounces also etc etc. Are we expecting too much from her? I am very interested in anyones response as there is now a new baby brother on the scene (much to her horror!!!) which is taking up alot of mums time at the moment. Thanks.

Sounds perfectly normal, I'm afraid. I think that it is very much a first child issue, as my boy was totally unable to play by himself.. My boy's younger sister was always able to entertain her self, even from very young though, so different kids do different things. I think that at 2 and a bit, you are expecting a bit much from her. Never mind, though as in a couple of years they will be able to play together.

I have heard that alot of only children can't play by them selves. But my boys are all almost 5 years apart, and they can all play by them selves, even our 5 month old!

But in saying that, the older 2 both went through fazes of not wanting to play by them selves and wanting me to play too, its not that bad, They are fast learners when it comes to gardening and housework!!!!

Being there ... doing that! My little girl is 2 3/4 and finds it really hard to play on her own. I agree that I think it is an only child issue and a first child issue (people keep telling me and it seems to make sense).

I am on my own at the moment as hubby is away working, and so those wee moments to myself during the day are like a tropical island break!

I started telling my daughter that mummy needed to sit and have some quiet time, and she was going to play with her toys. I told her I would play with her to start with. We then played together with a puzzle / dolly / activity toy. Over the next few minutes I gradually did less and less and then ended up sitting there, with the paper next to me. Then after a few times I moved across the room to drink my tea. She will now play for increasing times by herself.

One of my problems at the begining was that she was rarely left to play on her own, and has always had our attention. Now I am paying for it - but we do play nicely together and it is so nice! More action toys also are good - like little people toys. Finally I worked out she just wanted me near her, not neccessarily playing with her.

Hope this helps!

I found the same with my 2 older boys. They just wanted to be near Mummy so that they could show me their cool creations, or just know that I was there.

I am starting to have the same thing with 6 month old. He is going through that clingy stage, where he wants to be held all the time, or to have Mummy play next to him on the ground..

I think most babies do that. But its so much fun, Its a good time to observe them and see what they are really interested in and just have fun and bond!!

I have the complete opposite! My son is 2.5 and does not want to play with anyone but himself!

He isnt nasty about it or anything he is just SO independent, he would much rather play on his own!

I wish he would play with others more!

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