Writers: Rochelle Gribble

Rochelle Gribble

Rochelle is mum to three gorgeous daughters. She wishes she had more time to garden and read the newspaper in peace!

Growth charts for babies and preschoolers

growth charts babies preschoolers

When your child is born, you’ll usually receive a Well Child Tamariki Ora My Health Book. Many parents will be particularly interested in the growth charts in these books, as they’re a good way to track how your child is growing. Continue reading »

9 common parenting mistakes

Common parenting mistakes

If you ever struggle with the way your child behaves, you’re certainly not alone! At times, children’s behaviour can be challenging and it can make things difficult for the whole family. If you feel like you’ve tried everything you can think of to change your child’s behaviour and are having no success, have a look at these common parenting mistakes. They¬†might help you need to understand what’s not working so that you can make a plan to¬†deal with the behaviour.

Below are nine common parenting mistakes that we can all be guilty of at times. If you are trying to change something about your child’s behaviour, consider these common mistakes and see whether they may be affecting the way your child behaves. Understanding these common mistakes can also help you to make a plan so you can move forward.

9 common parenting mistakes

  1. Not considering the child’s perspective.¬†Before you think about how you can change your child’s behaviour, try thinking about it from their perspective. Why are they behaving like that? If you child is hitting other children because they feel lonely and¬†frustrated, there are some underlying issues that you need to address before the behaviour will change. Sometimes children have big feelings and these need as much consideration as any adult’s. Stop and talk to your child and see if there is something going on for them.
  2. Thinking: “It’s just a phase.” Children do go through phases but undesirable behaviour can also become entrenched. I bet we can all think about situations where we found ourselves stuck in a pattern of behaviour that we didn’t like. It’s the same with children. Decide whether it’s something that’s important to deal with and if it is, make a plan.
  3. Modelling undesirable behaviour.¬†Recently, I realised that my daughter was saying “Just a minute…” a lot as a delaying tactic. I got really frustrated about it and then I heard myself say…. oops! Now, instead of saying “Just a minute”, I’m trying to say something like, “I’ll do that for you in five minutes” and then trying to stick to it! It’s not easy but I hope it will impact on how she relates to me.It’s important to remember that if you yell at your kids, it won’t be a surprise if they yell back. Try modelling the kind of behaviour you want to see and you might be surprised at how you see this reflected back at you. Behaviour is learned and it can be unlearned.common parenting mistakes
  4. Ignoring bad behaviour.¬†This is not to suggest that you should get on your child’s case all the time. However, if your child is repeatedly doing something that you don’t like, you do need to make a plan. Target that particular issue and decide how you are going to tackle it. Don’t try and ‘fix’ every problem at once- try dealing with one behaviour at a time. And the more specific the plan the better. Don’t think “He always misbehaves!”¬†Instead, consider¬†the specific behaviour you want to eliminate – for example: “He’s not speaking to me respectfully.”
  5. Not having a plan to change¬†the behaviour. Once you’ve¬†identified behaviour that you’d like your child to change, you need¬†a¬†plan to stop it. The plan must: (1) address the child’s current behaviour, (2) decide what you are going to do to change it, (3) identify the behaviour that you’d like to see. Each part the plan is important and you need to make sure that your child is clear about what is happening. Explain clearly to them why their behaviour is a problem and what you’d like to see them do. Make sure that your child also understands the plan.
  6. Not involving your child in making a plan. Your child will have ideas about how they can change. The more you enlist them, the easier it will be for everyone! Consider asking your child how they think the issue should be dealt with and make a plan together.
  7. Not teaching a new behaviour.¬†You will struggle to change your child’s behaviour unless he or she is taught a new behaviour to replace it.¬†Try explaining to your child how you would like them to behave in these situations. Model how you’d like them to speak and the words that they could use. You could also role play the behaviour so that your child has a chance to try it before they really need it.
  8. Going it alone. Big mistake! Your child is part of a community and the more people you can involve in your plan, the easier it will be. Try enlisting extended family, teachers and friends Рbut make sure that everyone is on the same page and that everyone knows the plan.
  9. Giving up too quickly. Learning new behaviour habits generally takes a minimum of 21 days of repetition. Hang in there and be willing to accept that there might be some challenges along the way.

Changing difficult behaviour but consider these nine common parenting mistakes can help to identify the real issues and help to make a plan to address them.

Now that you know the 9 common parenting mistakes, check out more expert advice in our 5-10 year old behaviour section.

Great Kiwi Families: The Ridsdale Family

Great Kiwi Families: Risdale Family

If you read our recent post from Esther Te¬†Aotonga, you’re were probably as fascinated as we were with the way that the Te Aotonga family organises their lives around home schooling their children. In this post in our Great Kiwi Families series, we learn a bit more about the life of a home educating¬†family from Janet Ridsdale and her family.¬† Continue reading »

Gavin Bishop talking about his new book Teddy One-Eye

Gavin Bishop

Beloved New Zealand writer and illustrator Gavin Bishop has recently published his latest book – Teddy One-Eye. Scary, funny, heart-warming and magical, this is a story of love and loss and a great fondness for the delights of childhood. We had the opportunity to ask Bishop some questions about his new book.¬† Continue reading »

Great Kiwi Families: Rebekah, Chris and Eva Fraser

Great Kiwi Families

Over the next two months, we’re going to looking at pregnancy and babies and talking to some more great kiwi families about their experiences. In this post, we meet Rebekah, Chris and Eva Fraser. Rebekah talks about her experiences with¬†hyperemesis gravidarum (severe morning sickness) and a terribly tough pregnancy. It was so heartening to hear about the way that Chris supported Rebekah through this tough time – what a great family! Continue reading »

Great Kiwi Families: Corinne Austin

Great Kiwi Families

This month, it has been lovely to hear about¬†how some Great Kiwi Families keep themselves healthy. In this post, we meet Corinne Austin. Corinne loves an adventure and recently completed an Olympic-length triathlon in Rarotonga. I love her passion for adventure and her willingness to take on a challenge. Read on to find out more about Corinne’s experiences.¬† Continue reading »

Great Kiwi Families: The Finlay family

Great Kiwi Families

In the next of our ‘Great Kiwi Families’ posts, we introduce the Finlay family. These intrepid kiwis spend part of the year living on a small island in Vanuatu. Andrew, Maxine and son Charlie have a wide range of creative interests and in this post, they talk about how living on Tanna helps spark their creativity. Continue reading »

Cord blood stem cells see baby Phoenix rise

CordBank

Back in 2012, Arna Suttie made the decision to save her unborn baby‚Äôs stem cells. Whilst she hoped the cells would never be needed, she wanted to give her child every chance of a healthy life. As it turned out, that decision helped Arna improve her baby‚Äôs life in a brave and emotional journey that has been captured across New Zealand media. Continue reading »

Kiwi teams in Nickelodeon’s Camp Orange Force 10

ickelodeon's Camp Orange Force 10

If you watch Nickelodeon, you probably know about Camp Orange – a multi-award winning children’s reality series. This year, ¬†two Kiwi teams took¬†part – one from Auckland (the first ever boy/girl team to take part in the series) and one from the Bay of Plenty.

Team Joco Locos and Kiwi Cuzzies have recently been at Sea World on the Gold Coast of Australia competing against the other teams (three Australian teams) to take out the coveted title ‘Champ Orange’. We had a chat with them to find out a bit about their experiences.¬† Continue reading »

Great Kiwi Families: Siri, Gus and Liv Nola

Great Kiwi Families: Siri, Gus and Liv Nola

I always find it so inspiring to hear about the way that different families create their lives and this is certainly the case with Siri, Gus and Liv Nola. With an emphasis on creating a life that is both creative and considered, this¬†family is certainly a great kiwi family! And I’m loving this great family picture!¬† Continue reading »

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