Jill Darcey (author, parent, founder, and speaker) is a mother of three with thousands of hours of experience as a counsellor and coach, and more than a decade of real-time experience with "complex family" parenting --- parenting through separation, divorce or some other family breakdown. Jill is someone who has both vision and wisdom and has learned a lot of what does and doesn't work — and some of it the hard way!
Writers: Jill Darcey
Father’s Day – why bother?
When the children’s father no longer lives with you it’s easy to excuse anything to help you forget the man who they call “Dad”.
Most divorced parents resent duplicity, and most think that making an effort for Father’s Day, to a man they don’t really care about too much is doing exactly that. More often than not, it’s also a little bit of tit-for-tat because many absent fathers forget Mother’s Day earlier in the year.
Beyond Split & Broken – Complex Instead
Statistically, the effects of divorce on our society are difficult to prove although there are figures bandied around. What we do know, is that some people go on and have far better lives and some don’t. For the majority however, we can say divorce carved its mark on our life and we live with it for the rest of our days – for better or worse.
What is Conscious Parenting?
Do You Say “Tomorrow I’ll do better”, Yet by 8am You’re Yelling at Your Children?
Most parents put their hand up and say, “Yes, me too!” Exhausted from a day of nagging, yelling and demanding your children do things faster, better, or do something at all, you flop into bed and wish for more peace in home. With your head churning, you long for a better way to do things and hope for a little courage so you can try harder tomorrow.
Acrimony or Harmony?
Matrimony to Acrimony or Harmony? The choice is yours …
The importance of the choices you make when your marriage ends through which children were born into this world, becomes more apparent as time continues to march forward. Each step takes us down one of two pathways – acrimony or harmony.
Wherever you are, be there
I believe most of us have what it takes to be genuinely great parents; regardless if we have been separated, divorced or attempting to co-parent. More often than not, it is through our efforts to juggle an already rather hectic lifestyle that we neglect some of the most crucial aspects of parenting. Beyond the basic requirements of love, nurturing, food, clothing, shelter, and education, the next layer involves four key elements. These four key elements are: Time, Structure, Stimulation, and Protection. Today’s article is to look at Time.
Free of judgement
To speak ill of your Ex with your child says “I love you, but biologically you’re 50% a Jerk.”
Speaking poorly of your child’s other parent is one of the largest issues overlooked by co-parents – and yet it is one of the easiest for you to resolve. The reasons (or should I say excuses) that it is acceptable to slag off about your Ex to your children are numerous and yet the confusion that it causes in their life is immeasurable.
Create routines
I was told that “assume” means “to make an ass out of you and me” so, although it can seems obvious for why routines are important, let’s just say, I’m not going to assume you know in case I stuff it up for both of us.
If we don’t know how to create routines yet, it would seem pointless trying to come up with the best routine if we don’t have a clear picture of why they’re important to start with.
Co-Parenting Routines
Have you ever stopped to think how many varieties of routines there are? You’d be surprised.
You’ll also be surprised at what you think is so obvious, suddenly is not.
It’s amazing that routines are one of the hottest topics debated in courts – it’s where emotions run high and more people believe they’re done-over because a routine doesn’t fall in their favour.
Sharing the kids
Why do you want to spend less time with your children when growing up happens so quickly these days?
Don’t you look back on how many years have gone already and wonder how it’s passed so fast – and to think you’ve got to spend less time with your children because your Ex wants them, is gut-wrenching to most of us.
