1 – 4 year old child behaviour


Are you searching for information and advice to help you as a parent to understand and help with a particular young child behaviour problem or issue? One year old screaming? Two year old tantrums? Aggressive three year old boy? Angry four year old girl ?

We provide¬†excellent articles re 1, 2, 3, & 4 Year Old Child Behaviour — the major problems & issues, including discipline strategies, typical or normal behaviour.

Also explore Child¬†Development articles —¬†1 – 4 Year¬†Old


Aggression in children

The Angry Child


Arguing and Back-Talk


Bullying 1

Bullying 2

Discipline Strategies

Nine Common Parenting Mistakes

Time out

Eating Habits

Minimising Mealtime Mayhem

Goals of Parenting

Parenting Roles


Manners, Please!


Toddler Tantrums

How to cope with Toddler Tantrums while Traveling


Young children and TV – How much is too much?


Child Safety – Tips, Advice

Internet Safety

Self esteem

Self Esteem Spirals

Sibling Rivalry

Sibling Rivalry 1

Sibling Rivalry 2

Single Parenting

Single Parents


Nightmare, Night Terrors & Sleep Walking


Smacking / Spanking

To Smack or not to Smack

Step Parenting

Your Kid gets up my Nose

Step Parents

Thumb sucking


The Kiwi Families Team

This information was compiled by the Kiwi Families team.

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  • JulieMulcahy

    Hi Leigh

    My appologies for the long delay. I am sure the situation you are in is a very miserable one .

    You are very right to look for support as grief and loss are likely to play a role in the situation you find yourself in.

    I will give you some contacts where support may be available.

    the receptionist what the difficulties you are experiencing are and ask
    for their help. Let them know you are at the end of your tether and
    need help – now!

    PH 0800 KidStart I 0800 543 782


    Bernardos provide a range of support services that parents can request including

    Family Support Service that can provide in home support and guidance.

    also can support Work and Income subsidies for childcare and when the
    child is 3yrs old would be able to access 20hrs ECE (which is up to 6
    hours day free care – Maximum of 20 hours).
    Tel: 09 448 2633
    Fax: 09 415 8073
    E mail: northshore@northern.familyworks.org.nz

    fees are on a sliding scale according to income and other financial
    commitments a family has. Payment will be decided on in discussion with
    the appointed counsellor and will fall in the range of $20 – $90 per

    There are many services to support people needing help with grief and loss.
    You could ring you Citizens advice Bureau for a local contact or your local hospice.

    You could contact Family Works who are a wonderful organisation who work NZ wide.

    They only charge what you can afford and will come to you at home if it suits you better. Contacts are on their website –


    could help you develop strategies to cope with these difficult
    behaviours as well as help you to understand what is happening for your

    Don’t forget support for yourself. You can ring your local
    woman’s centre and chat to them about what is going on. They may have
    groups you can get involved with that will offer you practical help as
    well as friendship.

    All the very best in your journey towards creating a happy living space for you all.
    What a beautiful person you are.


  • Leighross

    I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and I have just moved in with my
    brother to help out with his 3 year old daughter as his wife died last
    year and life has been a bit chaotic since then. There have been quite
    dramatic problems with the two girls since moving in with lots of
    fighting. My daughter had never been exposed to this behaviour before
    and I understand her cousin is attempting to claim her space and my
    daughter is the same as her world has also been turned upside down to do
    this but I am not sure what to do about it. My brother is getting upset
    that his daughter’s toys are being played with etc but i’m more
    concerned with the ‘nastiness’ being expressed from my niece which then
    causes my daughter to retaliate>
    Please help!

  • JulieMulcahy

    Hmmm. I have gone in again and this time have been more specific. I hope this helps

    1.Click on Celebrity Columns.
    2.Click on Diane’s picture.
    3.On the right hand top corner a black envelope appears.
    4.It has email written in blue to the right of the envelope.
    5. Good Luck


  • Jed

    Sorry Julie,
    For the life of me I still can’t find the email contact!
    Maybe you could forward it on for me if this is OK with you?

  • JulieMulcahy

    Hi there. Just click on Diane’s column. When you are in Diane’s page
    there is a red envelope on the top right hand corner with ’email’
    written under it. If you click on that you can e mail Diane directly.
    I hope you hear from her soon.


  • Jed

    Thanks for your response! I just wondered which email address on the
    kiwi families website do I contact Diane Levy through? Is it through the
    “contact us” page?

  • JulieMulcahy

    oops – sorry about all those spelling mistakes!! I will type my answers
    in future using ‘word’ with my best friend the spellcheck!!


  • JulieMulcahy

    Parenting takes us to the best and the worst places.

    our dearly loved wee ones behave badley is just awful . We feel such
    failures at these times / embaressed , alone and isolated with our

    The flip side is you will never forget this and will be
    a wonderful support for others whom you will meet over the years
    struggling with their children / teens. You’ll be the last person to
    pass judgement or look down your nose at them!!

    You have already made some really sound choices. Working as a team with the kindy teachers is a great idea.
    Early Intervention Team will provide a wealth of support – ring them
    yourself and ask to speak to the Manager. Explain how desparate you are
    and ask if they can help. They may be able to apply for interim funding
    until a member of their team is available. This funding could be used
    for a teacher aid who supports your son’s behaviour at kindy.
    At the very least I would hope you could get an estimated time that they can start working with you and your son.

    approach could be to ask a behaviour specialist to meet with you and
    the kindy staff to put a plan in place. Why not email the wonderful
    Diane Levy for her advice on this? What an amazing resource she is and
    you can email her through the kiwi families si
    Diane is really
    experienced in dealing with our little ones and the dynamics of family
    life. She is so practical and of course able to view your situation from
    an outsiders viewpoint. The changes she may recommend may not be as big
    as the ones you are considering but they may make a big change to your
    son’s behaviour and how you are feeling right now.

    Good on you
    for actively seeking the help you need. What a fabulous mum , who loves
    her own boy unconditionally but cares also about the impact of his
    behaviour on others.

    Check out our interview with super – kindy – teacher Christine Murray from Takapuna Kindy on http://www.springboardnz.com .

    Hang in there – you’re doing so many things right!

  • Jed


    My son has been at kindy since february of this year. We have
    been having problems with his social interactions with other children.
    He pushes, pulls hair, doesn’t like to share and likes taking things
    from other children or destroying their paintings/sandcastles etc. I
    also notice that he doesn’t engage in activities for long periods there
    but he does so at home. The kindy is a very full kindy with 15 children
    to a teacher with 45 children at the kindy often there is no parent
    help. I have done some once a term. There is one teachers aide as well.
    The teachers don’t have the time to watch his every move and we and the
    kindy teachers are at a loss to know what to do, so they have called in
    group special education and they cannot tell us when he will be seen by

    At home, since we discussed these things with the teachers
    we have been more consistent with timeout and sticker charting and
    praise. He has a 1 year old sister. Generally they play nicely together.
    He often doesn’t like to share with her though and does take her toys
    but has improved since we have improved our systems. I have been reading
    Diane’s books and have been looking at the personality type and I think
    he is Choleric/ Melancholic. Based on this I think he may need to have
    more attention from teachers so I think we may look at porse childcare
    or a private kindy.
    Could you please tell me what you think? It
    drives me to tears some days when I hear what he has been doing. I don’t
    want him to be a bully. I was bullied when I was a young girl so I know
    what its like. I love my son dearly but we just need some help with

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